specky four-eyes

graffrobot @ 2006-10-09T20:29:00

2006-10-09T19:34:22Z

yo yo livejournal!

i have no internet so i can't post or read anyone's entries really which sucks.

might get a laptop sometime after christmas tho so please don't delete me from your friends lists...!

also.... LUCY! where are you? have you changed your mobile number or are you ignoring me or something? text me! i still owe you a desh plus i've got a birthday present for you that's been hanging around since august...

and...... SARAH! did you get my letters? i've got something big to send you so write back please and i will post it off!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

graffrobot @ 2006-06-21T21:09:00

2006-06-21T20:30:17Z

i'm soooo bored!
i hate being this bored. it makes me feel like i should be at work where at least i'm making money whilst being bored. and i feel guilty for thinking that i'd rather be at work cos that's just square.

when i get MY OWN ROOM this will never happen. i'm now obessing over getting a little desk where i can take up penpalling again and doodle and stencil onto the 7 blank tshirts i bought last summer and then forgot about cos they were buried under a huge pile of crap in my room. and i will never have to fight over the TV cos someone else wants to watch the football or some crappy itv drama. WOOOOHOOOOOOO!
also gonna re-write all my japanese notes so that when i take my GSCE next year i will get an A*. hell yes i will.

i am yet again on a torturous diet. so all i can think about is food. there must be a better way of doing this, every time i go on a diet i think "waaahhh i can never eat chocolate or cakes or pizza again!" and thus shatter my willpower because i'm overwhelmed by the thought of a life filled with nothing but shreddies and endless fruit.

i made ben write me a letter saying all the reasons i'd be better skinny. mostly clothes related reasons but some other funny ones. i'm also trying to think about all my skinny girl crushes such as ellen page, abbie cornish and winona rider. LOL girls, you're my THINSPIRATION!

i've been trying to pack but never realised quite the extent of my personal belongings. OMG WTF. i have way too much stuff. i'm thinking that everything under my bed can go since i can't even remember what any of it is and since i haven't seen any of it for 2 years it can't be that vital. might even have to throw out some trainers. yikes.

SSSSSSSSIGH

2006-06-10T01:20:28Z

i miss my boyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

he is currently spending the night all alone in derby train station after spending the day at download and i don't want to go to bed and end our text msg conversation cos he still has 3 hours until his train arrives.
sleeping in train stations is only remotely fun when you are with a good friend and therefore not too scared to go and talk to weird strangers / piss in the street cos the asshole grumpy staff have locked the toilets.

i am well pissed off with work. i hate all customers. they are such wankers. i'm tired of being sworn at. how can anyone grow up and think it's okay to be so rude to someone who is a perfect stranger to them? UGH.

i watched the omen remake tonight and it was actually quite good, although ruined by more twatty customers. bouffanted trevs sitting in front sniggering and grunting throughout / annoying girl who screamed, jumped, slapped her thighs(????) and shouted "oh no oh no oh no! it's so scary!!!" during every single death to the left, strange hiccuping / tourettes suffering woman to the right (she kept going "YELP!" every so often, like actually saying the word 'yelp') and some bitch at the back whose response to being scared is apparently to yell "MOTHERFUCKER!" at the top of her lungs.

jesus christ control yourself people, it's not even that scary!

TOP TEN

2006-06-04T22:42:53Z

things i am looking forwards to relating to MOVING OUT!:

01). MOVING OUT! no more karen! no more sharing a room!
02). HAMSTER!
03). living across the road from lucy and up the road from desh
04). having all my trainers out on display and choosing a pair specifically every day
05). having sex WHENEVER I WANT!
06). having my own stereo and record player
07). always having my megadrive set up
08). dungeons and dragons table
09). horror corridor
10). PARTAYYYYYYYYYY

ALL GROWED UP.

2006-06-04T20:05:47Z

big news: ME AND BEN FOUND A FLAT!

it's lovely and posh and biiiig but will cost us megabucks so i will finally have to say goodbye to my lavish lifestyle of carefree spending money without thinking about it.

also no more livejournal! oh no!!!!!

hopefully gonna be able to ride my bike to work as it is kind of far away from town. i am very very terrified of cycling on the road though. eeeek.

little news: i am so fucking sick of working 12 hour shifts.

I HATE BEN & JERRYS.

50 tubs melted last week. MWAHAHAHAHA! i would've been glad of it's downfall if i hadn't had to clear up the mess. mostly i'm just happy to punish it by making it boil in my digestive juices. FATTY.

we had a barbeque today. barbeques are kind of weird aren't they? you eat like the equivelant of 3 meals which are 80% protein. and all in really hot weather which stops you from feeling hungry in the first place. i feel so sick.

girls schmirls foundation

2006-04-25T23:41:31Z

i am obsessed with cooking.
yesterday i made a delicious pasta dish which will last me the next 3 days at 12:30am after watching cruel intentions.
i ate the first installment at work today and 3 people came in to the staff room saying "mmmmmmmwhat are you eating?".
:D
i also made cookies in the morning before i went to work.
and i just made more cookies whilst watching the o.c.
i really want to have a huge banquet. i might actually do that, it would be totally cool.
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmfoooooooddddd.

i got 3 new japanese books today. i don't know if i already said this, but we're doing our gcse next year wooooo!
in order to take the gcse you have to learn 200 kanji (those chinese symbols tacky girls get tattoo'd onto their lower backs). at the moment i know 3 kanji. 'left', 'right' and 'car'. ha!
also found out that next year the course might be free. that would kick some ass.

in other news, i'm really boring.

see ya!

oh girl, i wish i knew you well

2006-04-24T00:47:10Z

this week i have mostly been:

- finding a wonderful cheap house with ben and saying "WE'LL TAKE IT!"
- losing out on said wonderfully cheap house because a million people viewed it and wanted it = they gave it to the first ppl
- playing dungeons and dragons (it's called d&d if you're cool, yo)
- baking chocolate chip cookies

i'm gutted about that house. it was right next to victoria park. could've been riding my chopper into work every day. and the landlady was so nice. she liked us because she had a lot of eves and bens in her family. every other flat we've looked at has had some horrible rough geezer as the landlord.

:(

i saw 'silent hill' tonight. ignore the bad reviews cos omfg it rules. okay the first half is kind of boring and video gamey and "SHAROOOOOON!", but the ending is eye poppin'.
don't waste your time / money on 'an american haunting' though. tis truely terrible. nothing about it is convincing and the 'twist' is just absolutely stupid.

my birthday is kind of soon. ben has got me a 'kiss' belt buckle for some unknown reason. i will be walking around saying "your belt buckle may say rock n roll, but your breath says pepperoni, baby." to...myself constantly.

lol @ matt from busted's solo career.

well, gotta go!

yeah well everyone's a VAGINA

2006-04-06T21:36:43Z

i'm so desperate to move out aaaaraaaggghhhhh!
we have upped our budget to £800. this was obviously gonna have to happen.
i have my new bedroom all planned out in my head. i think i will attempt to make a kind of pop punk patchwork quilt out of all my old band tshirts. no need to be embarrassed about these things when your boyfriend's favourite band is pearl jam. he also likes turin breaks and coheed and cambria.

i've got these weird lumps on the left side of my neck.
my mum's all like "YOU'VE GOT GLANDULAR FEVER! THERE'S MUMPS GOING AROUND AND YOU'RE NOT VACCINATED, I BET YOU'VE GOT MUMPS!"
but they only hurt when i prod them [i have to prod them all the time though, to check if they're there still] so i don't think it's anything scary. very weird and kind of gross however.

thanks to geeking it up since getting this new computer i am finally starting to feel like i'm not so out of touch. i'm downloading exciting new music such as giant drag and FALL OF TROY. who's name is amusingly similar to FALL OUT BOY. can't really take the piss, i would have obv loved fall out boy if they were around when i was 16. lucy you would probably like fall of troy, they sound like a catchier mars volta with blood bros guitars.

i'm going to the opticians tomorrow. eep, a bit scary. always feels like you're gonna get molested at the opticians. also i have to find new frames which is scary because they are all too small and show how fat my face really is. no need to worry about having a fat face when your boyfriend fancies kelly osbourne.

there is a real life newmo starting at work tomorrow. she's gonna be fulltime. oooo. i've never really talked to a newmo before.

a few factual sentences

2006-04-03T19:08:24Z

all day at work yesterday i was complaining about how nice the weather was and how fed up i was being stuck inside.
today i had the day off and i haven't left the house yet.

i put my hair in loads of plaits last night in the hope that i'd wake up with nice wavy hair. instead it's turned into a huge frizzball but i will NOT give in and get out the straightners.

my phone is doing this annoying thing where i can't seem to open new text messages.

i installed soulseek on the laptop = much kelly clarkson and rihanna (got it right that time) has been downloaded. OH YES! but i desperately want dust by bright eyes & the faint and i can't get it. i've been trying all day long grrrrrr.....

ben is writing me a story about vampires.

i watched taxi driver last night on more 4 (never watched that channel before). never thought robert deniro was such a fox...helloooo mr. taxi driver!

i've got to go out to see capote in a minute. i'd much rather see SHE'S THE MAN (how great does that movie look??) but it's the school holdiays = trevs a-plenty crawling all over the cinema, so i'll wait until they're all back in school.

getting a hamster has moved up to first place in my reasons for wanting to move out. LOOK AT IT! oh my god.

incidentally, i've always thought the perfect animal would be a hamster the size of a lion.

muchos gracias

2006-03-24T23:42:57Z

goddammit just when i was converting back to being a livejournal devotee my bloody computer caught the last of many many viruses of it's long life and finally died.

but nowwww my dad has bought a laptop! which at first was rather exciting but now i kind of HATE IT cos the keyboard's all weird and whenever i try to press backspace i accidentally put caps lock on instead and what the fuck's going on with not having a mouse?! soooo weird. and the internet is sooooo slooowwwww even though it's supposed to be the same as we had before????? load of fucking shite.

i have a disgusting phelgmtastic cold. gotta go to the doctor one day soon about my copius amounts of phlegm. i'm sure it can't be healthy.

yesterday i went skateboarding on my lidl skateboard. it was all fun and games until i fell off and smacked my face on the floor. my glasses snapped in two. OH TRAGEDY!!!!

i have tried to lovingly repair them with super glue and duct tape but alas, it's not proved too successful and i look more homeless than ever. poopy poop.
i was so sad about this that i almost cried.

also yesterday i went on an embarrassing shopping spree in fopp, in which i bought lots of way out of date inexcusable cds including 2 placebo albums, gold by ryan adams and turn on the bright lights by interpol. i specifically chose the oldest, most unhip cashier which made me feel even worse cos god, caring about being uncool is what makes me uncool. nope, buying 2 placebo albums is what makes you uncool, eve. later on i watched dogville at the cinema. first time i'd seen it and boy oh boy i loved it so.

saw hostel today. what a load of wank. i wanted those nuts/zoo reading carling drinking rugby playing gap year-ing (if they were british that's exactly what they'd be) backpackers to get tortured so much worse. they were crying out for some good torturing. "YEEEAAAAH TITS! PUSSY! LET'S GO TO AMSTERDAM AND GET STONED AND FUCK SOME EUROSLUTS!" but i could've done a much better job then any of those lame pseudo sadists. ugh ugh ugh.

i am getting so sick of seeing TITS TITS TITS in every single 15+ cert film. i want to see some penis to settle the balance please. also what's up with always getting the feeling that all the female leads are about to get raped? men are filthy pigs. woooo feminism!

hopefully i'm going to have moved out by the end of next month. our property viewings keep getting cancelled so it's a frustratingly slow process.

nothing more to say really.

ciao bambinos!

still <3 u lj

2005-12-14T01:01:26Z

YOOOOOO LIVEJOURNAAAAAAAAAL!

i never come on here any more :( i'm always at work doing ridiculous 13 hour shifts for less than £500 a month [srsly] no time for internet social life. boooo!
i'm only on the computer now to make a christmas CD to play over the tanoy at work. it's gonna be so good - none of the 'classics' like white christmas or any of those rat pack types. just really cheesy pop and phil spector girl groups. harderst decision so far is wether or not toi include "another rock n roll christmas" by gary glitter. don't know if my boss will play music made by known pedos. but i fucking love that song! and i kind of feel sorry for pedos. all that over exposure they get from the daily mail etc. ben will kill me though cos i don't have "a spaceman came travelling" by chris de burgh and i refuse to put jonny mathis on there. i'm also gonna sneak some cribs on the end of the CD.

the normal odeon music is an excruciating but funny mix of obscure r n b/pop songs that didn't make it into the top 10 in 2002, weak 20something singer songwriter types [turin breaks / jack fucking johnson] + every song ever recorded by blue. luckily they don't have any potwer or blunty yet, but we do have "K T" tunstall. aka the female james blunt. someone told me the other day that she was on the radio and said her real name is just plain old "Katie" - that evil bitch!

well, in the past 3 months i've not been on here i've mostly been getting fat and trying to grow my hair really long.
me and ben are like, in love now. it's cool. i won't discuss further for fear of making people puke.

i can't really think of anything to say..............................................

i'm not even gonna try and catch up with anyone on my friend's lists journals cos it will take me about a week but i hope you're all happy and well etc esp sarah! and i'll do a comments blitz some day soon.

CIAO FOR NOW.

TOP TEN CHRISTMAS CHOOOOOONS:

1). wizzard - i wish it could be christmas every day
2). mariah carey - aaall iiii-ii-ii want foooo-o-o-o-o-ooo-o-oor christmaaa-a-a-a-aaa-a-as is you-oooo-ou-ou
3). the pogues and kirsty mccoll - fairytale of new york
4). the ronettes - frosty the snowman
5). beach boys - little saint nick
6). mudd - lonely this christmas [reminds me of bernard and the genie]
7). jackson 5 - santa claus is comin to town
8). band aid - do they know it's christmas [it's so trendy to hate this right now]
9). jona lewie - stop the cavalry
10). greg lake - i believe in father christmas

i fucking love christmas music! i hate elton john, but 'step into christmas' - obv one of the best songs ever written.

k bye.

DONNIE DARKO

2005-08-30T22:55:15Z

okay. i am confused.

i just came back from watching the director's cut of donnie darko at the cinema.
before the film, some guy from the theatre royal talked about it for a while and was going on about how it requires repeated veiwing to understand it's meaning / meanings.

i've heard people say that before and i don't understand what they mean??

i've seen the film 3 times at the cinema and probably 4 times on dvd. i understood the plot the first time i saw it. what meaning / meanings are these people talking about?

do they just not understand what is going on in the film until they've seen it a few times, or are there hidden meanings and i'm the idiot for not seeing them?

here is what i understand of the film:

donnie allows himself to die in order to save gretchen.

when frank tells him the world is gonna end, he isn't referring to the actual universe, but his own world and donnie's world ie. gretchen. hence the countdown being to when frank and gretchen are killed.

frank is the manipulated living ["the manipulated living will do anything to avoid oblivion"]. hence he guides donnie through the process of realising he must not meet gretchen, therefore gretchen won't be killed by frank and frank won't be killed by donnie. so frank is saving himself.

"cellar door" i always interpreted as a play on words. i thought it must mean something in french. s'elle adore or something meaning she is love or something like that????? [i don't speak french so this is probably completely wrong]. it would be like a pun, the english language is ugly so the most beautiful english phrase is the one that sounds most like a beautiful french phrase? "she is love" [or whatever] is another reference towards gretchen and the fact that all the hallucinations / frank stuff donnie is going through is all in order for donnie to save her.

i get all the time travel stuff.

what other meanings are there???

muchos movies

2005-08-20T16:36:56Z

i went to see the goonies the other day at the open-air cinema. it was cool but all the other people there were annoying rich fake hippies.
this is a lame thing to say, but i love working at the odeon. last night someone brought in a dvd of oldboy [crazy weird korean film] and we watched it in one of the screens.
the projectionist said he would play house of 1000 corpses for me tonight! we're organising a trip to go and see the devil's rejects in bristol and loads of the odeon people haven't even seen house of 1000 corpses yet and i never saw it at the cinema so it's gonna be fucking amazing.
we're gonna try and make it a weekly latenight thing and bring in dvds every friday / saturday. how cool is that?! it's like having your own private cinema where you can watch old/foreign/arthouse films that you'd never usually get to see on a massive odeon screen.

life is pretty sweet at the moment but i don't have time to do anything. i mean important stuff like watch neighbours / come on livejournal.

i'm even in a rush now. yikkkeeeessss.

SHOES N SHIT.

2005-08-15T23:55:57Z

in return for the disc of stories, i made ben a mixtape. or 'compi' as adam and joe would say.
check it out.

i bought the lushest shoes ever today.

generally i am against chuck taylors but HELLOOO-O-O-O-O-O-O??!?!

they're freaking GOBSMACKINGLY awesome!
(also that's a lie cos i wear chucks every day at work.)
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!

i also got some more green flash. ooooooops.

what i really wanted was a pair of checkerboard vans slip-ons but all the colourways in my size were lame to the maximum. SIGH. it's always the way!

i don't want to.

2005-08-09T11:39:00Z

last night i dreamt that ben kept calling me 'baby' and it was really pissing me off.
then i had a nightmare about that there were so many spiders in my house that i ran out of glasses to catch them in.

everytime i wake up before my alarm i panic and think that i've slept through it and am sposed to be at work.

whining.

2005-07-26T12:38:33Z

:( boo.
i can't go to hobbycraft anymore and i have to go to see princess mononoke by myself.
(actually i prefer going to the cinema by myself but i have to go to town on my own too which i haatttteee gahhhh!)

my sister's boyfriend is chinese and his racist psycho bitch of a mother is in town today so they had to go to cribbs causeway instead to avoid bumping into her :(

i really need to go to town to do some banking and other boring but neccessary shit. i guess i will take my i-pod and listen to pedro the lion and mope around.

i'm wearing a tshirt with a giant cnd symbol on the front which makes me feel like a loser. i got it at glastonbury too. hahaha! the shame of it...

maybe i will walk into town and go and see dark water too.

it's quite amazing that i am up and dressed before 1 o'clock.
might as well actually do something with my day for once.

ho hum.

californiaaa, californiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

2005-07-25T16:20:48Z

my dad passed me this note when i was on the phone to lucy the other day:

and because his handwriting is almost completely unreadable, i will translate.
"we are going to america next year. for 3 weeks and we need a plan!"
omg!!!
you have no idea how excited i am. i have wanted to go to america my whole life!
of course i always envisioned on going with some lush boy who loved lame pop punk and would want to go to down on haley with me and not my family buttt...he's using my grandma's inheritance to pay for it so it's free for me! ie. NOT COMPLAINING.

so far i want to go to california and astoria, my mum wants to go to a national park and my dad wants to go to stax studios and drive up some of route 66 and stay in motels and go to diners. vicki wants to go to disneyland but y'now there's no way we're going there. haha gutted!

i can't wait to go to 7/11, walmart, target and kmart and find out what milk duds, twinkies and baby ruths actually are. and say "THIS IS TOTALLY AWESOME!" a lot. haha lammmmmmmeee i know, but what do you expect? i was raised on american tv.

and i'm gonna buy a lifetime supply of big red. oh yeahhhh!

in other news:

my sleep pattern is really fucked up. i mostly don't get home from work until about midnight and i don't feel like going to sleep as soon as i get in so for the past 2 weeks i've been going to bed at like 5am every night. and then sleeping all day. oops.

i put my lipring back in and it feels really massive and weird. i feel like a bit of a spaz wearing it. i was sposed to go into town and buy a new smaller one today but i was too lazy. i hate going into town on my own.

i went to see the descent yesterday. it wasn't as shit as i thought it would be. it was pretty good infact. and i hate outdoorsy sports loving types so y'know, it was quite nice to see them all die in such gloriously gory circumstances.

i split water all over the CD ben lent me. the actual CD was fine, but the inlay got all wrecked. i don't want him to stop lending me stuff, so i bought a new one to replace it. annoying cos it wasn't even a very good record and it cost me £13 :O !! (i'm a total stinge and always buy CDs online so i don't have to pay more than like £8). anyway i gave him the new CD but i didn't tell him what happened. later on this other boy at work told me he kept laughing to himself and when he asked him why, he said "eve gave me back this CD and i don't know why, but she stuck a security sticker on it". HAHAHAHAHA! who would think that???
damn though, i had to tell him all about wrecking his CD and buying the new one. he was like "i can't believe you bought a new CD" so i ended up looking like a geek AND had to spend £13 on a shitty record. it was quite embarrassing.

i'm going to hobbycraft tomorrow! and to see princess mononoke at the little theatre. i get free tickets there now! how cool.

well, now i have to go and watch dawn of the dead.

such is the thrilling life of eve.

graffrobot @ 2005-07-18T01:42:00

2005-07-18T00:53:04Z

today my dad came back from scattering my grandma's ashes and helping to clear her house in newcastle.
he brought me back my grandad joe's turntable from the loft.
i have quite the collection of audio equipment he's stashed in our loft waiting for me when i move out.
not that i can see that happening any time soon.
i'm secretly chuffed that he does that with me in mind.
he also brought back loads of 78 records that he's gonna record onto CD.
i'm glad he managed to get some of the mounsey legacy. my auntie angela got all the photographs.
which annoys me greatly.
but she is a professional photographer so of course she should have them. ugh.

today i did some journalling! it was a lot of fun.

i've been buying loads of vintage charms on ebay for my new hobby - making jewellery.
it's rather exciting. but expensive.

i only have 3 shifts this week. i should probably be annoyed, but i'm actually loving it.
time off in the summer!

YIPPEE! it's just like the summer holidays of yore. except i'm working even less than i did then. hah!

negative nancy / introvert vs. extrovert

2005-07-14T00:43:26Z

me lucy and vicki went to london on monday. it has been MASSIVELY hot recently. london is crud when it's hot. it's so gross and grimey there. you always end up with black bogies. and when you're sweating all the grime sticks all over you. GROSS!

on the tube everyone smelt of BO and we all had sweaty faces. plus one time i fell down and landed right on top of this business man. it was funny but of course i was embarrassed especially because i had been holding onto a pole and had no reason to be falling down.

i kind of hate london i think.

but anyway! we went to see bright eyes and the faint.

and it was my tenth time seeing bright eyes and my 8th bright eyes adventure. how special!

it was scary the first time we had to go on the tube. but only really the first time. after that all our concentration was used up on complaining how sweaty it was and trying not to fall over again. when we got to the venue though, there was a bomb scare. the road was cordoned off and the police had exploded something. by the time we'd walked once round the block it was all over and we went in. while we were sat in the queue we could hear them soundchecking. everyone was hipster bright eyes backlash too cool to care. except us. we thought it was sooooo coooooool. the queue was fun. the best queue moment was when this boy walked over wearing really tight white jeans and lucy shouted "OMG IS HE WEARING JODPHURS?!". hahahahaha!

once we got inside i was a bit annoyed not to get to the front row. we were in the second. but by the time bright eyes got onstage we'd all got seperated from each other and i was in the third row. grr. THIRD ROW SUCKS! wellll, i didn't mind all that much cos it wasn't such an intimate peformance.

it was light during the whole of the faint's set. not exactly the right atmosphere for them. no one was dancing either. maybe because it was so hot or maybe bright eyes fans aren't that into the faint. lucy and i danced but it was a bit half assed cos 1). it was so hot 2). no one else was 3). it was completely light. it was good, but not satisfying.

people kept clapping along which was tres funny. just cos it's outdoors, don't mean it's a festival peeps! i refuse to clap along to bands. it's so cheesy!

as for bright eyes, it was the opposite to the fiasco at glastonbury, conor was very well behaved which was a relief. there was a surprise to the set when he played 'first day of my life'. PEOPLE SANG ALONG. omg. no-one EVER sings along at bright eyes shows! and this is loser-ish, but i've always fantasised that i would be witness to [and take part in] a sing-a-long at a bright eyes show. the best song would of course be 'make war' but i don't care, a sing-a-long is still a sing-a-long!! my ultimate gig fantasy is for there to be a sing-a-long BEFORE the show, y'know the queue being all psyched up and excited and singing all the hits HAHAHAHA! sadly, i'm too gutless to ever start one up. maybe next time i go and see a pop punk band...

i sent giant laserbeams of love from my eyes for superfink during neely o'hara. next time, i'm gonna have to get your mobile phone number so i can ring you during the best song. I LOVE DOING THAT!

the next day we went shopping in covent garden and camden. me and vicki hit up superlovers. i got 2 hooded sweatshirts and a bag. ^_^! then we went to 57 vintage shops for lucy who didn't buy anything.

i've been invited to 2 work-social things tomorrow. first is a BBQ / piss-up affair with my 'team'. second is going out to celebrate someone's 17th birthday [aww!]. i don't know whether to go??? i really don't want to go to cringey 'work dos' (maybe it won't be so cringey cos they're all young 'uns?) but i don't want to seem unfriendly or whatever.

darnit. i just don't want to see work people outside of work. it's weeeeeiiiird. but i guess this is how us oldies make friends now we're not at school anymore. OH NO!

i will feel extra weird at both cos i don't eat meat or drink alcohol. boooo! plus i don't really like anyone in my team except ben [the sarcastic musketeer] and to top it all off they'll be playing frisbee and football. and the birthday thing'll probably wind up in wetherspoons or somewhere equally unbearable. grrreaaat.

god i'm such a moany elitist bitch. these type of things would never begin to be a problem for normal people would they? what the eff is wrong with me???

i can keep up my friendly, nice girl facade at work but UGH, i really can't be assed to spend my free time on this. i always wonder if the other people at work are being fake friendly / nice or if it just comes naturally to them. is the whole world just faking it? whoever is reading this can you please comment and tell me because i seriously want to know. if i had it my way i would just not talk to anyone. hmmm, i guess that's not really true because i did that at my old job and i was completely miserable. but i hate the constant pressure of making conversation. it's a much bigger task for me than the work i'm employed to do. does that make sense? i'm just trying to hold all the social stuff together and the actual work is secondery. THIS MAKES ME A WEIRDO. hopefully i will just get used to everyone and this crap will stop because i freak myself out with how much of a weirdo i am. no one else feels this way do they? or do they?? WTF!

LEAVE ME ALONE ASSHOLES!

2005-07-10T16:04:02Z

oh man people really need to stop talking to me today.

i'm in a really bitchy horrible bad mood and can't stop making arguments.

i hate having days off on the weekend when everyone's in the house. GO AWAAAAAAAAY ALL OF YOU.

i feel like crud. [warning: grossness apporaching]. i have my period. so i'm spotty as hell. my cold is pissing me off. i keep coughing up phlegm with blood in it.

every time i get a cold it goes exactly the same way.
sore throat -> loads of phlegm -> bunged up nose -> itchy cough at night.

my throat is always fucked up. when i was 4 i had whooping cough and that gave me 'asthma'. i would get big coughing attacks and get all wheezy and unable to breathe. i had an inhaler but it wasn't really asthma. i grew out of that but since then i've always caught really bad coughs which result in coughing up blood.

i'm convinced that dairy products aggravate the problem and make me extra phlegmy. so i try [and always ultimately fail] not to eat them. i bought a big pot of houmous yesterday to eat for breakfast. it was sposed to last all week and today i went to have some and my sister had eaten all of it. i have been FURIOUS about this for hours. such is the extent of my bad mood. i actually had to come and write about it in my livejournal.

i am now listening to of montreal. GOD THIS MUSIC IS MAKING ME MADDDDDDDD!

END.

DEAR DIARY,

2005-07-09T18:55:07Z

today a boy i was working with told me i reminded him of daria. then that mean manager told me i had a bad attitude. i was also described as being 'mouthy' for the first time in my life.

i think it says a lot about me that when i am really trying my best to be friendly and cheery i am still apparently daria-esque. blehhhh. i don't know how i can put any more effort into this!

when i asked the evil manager in what respect i had a bad attitude she said "some people have said that you think you know better than the managers. and you don't". i asked her to explain and she said it was because i had kept asking her why she repeatedly gives me under 20 hours work a week. so basically 'some people' = her. HA. HA. HA!

she employed me full time. </i>she's</i> the head of personnel. she's the one who keeps fucking up the rota and employing too many people. it's HER problem and she keeps making the same mistakes over and over again which effect MY wages, so why shouldn't i keep asking about it?! i don't think that's a bad attitude on my part, i think it's bad management on hers! JEEEEEZ!

apart from that bitch, i actually really like my new job so y'know, hooray!

i even served a FAMOUS PERSON last week. okay, it was only stuart from queer as folk but still! the glamour!

i only ever update about work recently.

i have been doing other stuff, honest.

such as glastonbury, and i went to see clor on thursday. also i went up to newcastle for my grandma's funeral which of course was horrible and everyone bawled their eyes out. finally saw batman begins last night. blah blah etc.

i've got another cold.

i really want an indian takeaway.

:( signed, big fat fatty.

i quake in my boots

2005-06-15T20:43:39Z

i'm a bit worried about starting my new job tomorrow.
obviously i'm [SUPER] glad to have left the old one because spending 8 hours every day in a place that makes you miserable is not cool.
but sadly working is what i spend the majority of my life doing. so it's kind of scary having that 8 hour a day void left gaping wide open with uncertainty.
i really hope the other people who work there are nice and that i will fit in.

*wish wish wish*

i'm going to try really hard to be friendly and talk to everyone i meet. i desperately don't want to get the 'weird miserable girl who never talks' reputation again.

i'm also hoping that my uniform won't be too hideously unflattering. i get these trousers with an extra long pocket to keep my torch in and a walkie-talkie radio thing to bust trevs trying to sneak in. quite cool i think you'll agree. but i also have to wear a baseball cap. i am toying with the idea of covering it with badges the way that loonies do.

yesterday at work they gave me a pretty excruciating leaving presentation. i didn't know what to say. it was so awkward. i was just like "errrrrrrrrr....thanks.....*polite smile to the max*" while everyone made "hoho so we'll be getting free popcorn then eve?" 'jokes'. i did get £20 hmv voucher [team sleep and the new fellas please!] for my troubles though. and my boss gave me a copy of her favourite book and a book of sudoku [japanese number puzzles]. i am quite geekily obsessed with them. i did like 10 last night :/
i also looted the office of all the good stationery. shhhh don't tell on me plz.

lucy drove me and vicki to see the cribs in cardiff on monday. black wire and the chalets [they're from dublin - sarie do you know them??] supported. it was cool. the crowd was a bit cribs-stylee mental. there was a stage invasion and everything. we got lots of beer thrown at us and my knees are all fucked up and bruised from bashing against the stage. ryan bled again. my mum scared me this morning by saying that bleeding from the mouth is a sign of lukemia.
when we saw them in bristol last month they were really down about the crowd being typically rubbish and un-mental. we waited ages outside after the show to talk to them but they didn't come out so we wrote them notes on the back of flyers and stuck them to their van's wing mirror. just after we'd done that though, they came out so we went to talk to them. and ross was reading the notes. it was a bit embarrassing but funny. what can i say? we are scary teenyboppers when it comes to the cribs. ryan and gary looked so glum :( ryan was hugging a pillow and his mouth was bleeding all over the place.

other things which i suppose are worth mentioning:

- went to see mean creek, house of wax, palindromes [new todd solondz film] and the cat returns [hilarious anime] at the cinema. house of wax FUCKING RULES! i recommend it. and mean creek too. it was weird because i bought the dvd about a month before it was out at the cinema.

- saw super system and help she can't swim at stutter. stutter is this new club night in bristol where the boy who does glaive promotions sometimes puts on bands. i don't like stutter very much. it's always full of scenesters. where as glaive shows are full of unattractive geeks. i miss glaive :'(

today i went into town with my mum to buy some new shoes for the odeon [monochrome chucks in the hope that i can wear trainers without them noticing i'm wearing trainers]. that means i've bought 5 pairs of trainers this month. oooops. 4 of them were green flash. i now own 12 pairs of green flash. and i only really wear 1. it's completely stupid but i can't resist buying them.

i have stopped wearing my nike terminators because i don't want them to get anymore ruined. waaaahhhh :( i love them so much! i need another pair but you can't get them now.

glastonbury tickets are being delivered this friday.

this is really boring sorry. suck it. i can't be assed.

billy no mates

2005-05-30T13:16:14Z

this is lame.
i want to go to these shows:

reggie and the full effect
mirah
francois [!!!!]
jimmy eat world

but no one can come with me. (well vicki might come to francois).

i could go to see mirah and jew on my own.

BUT THAT'S NO FUN!

4 weeks to go (omfg!)

2005-05-28T13:13:43Z

wow. they are playing the goonies in the cinema field at glastonbury!!
on thursday at 10pm so we won't miss any bands!
it's my favourite film!
*contented sigh*
when i told my dad just now, he said "but you have it on video and dvd don't you?"
yes dad, but i've never seen it at THE CINEMA. or y'know at GLASTONBURY!

i'm so nervous about who's headlining the pyramid stage on sunday. i really don't want it to be the killers because bright eyes are headlining the john peel stage on the same day and i CAN'T miss bright eyes. but then again i think the killers would be such a good way to end the festival and i really don't want to miss them either. aarrrrgh glastonbury is always so nervewracking!

i won't even go into the prospect of crappy weather. i least i bought that all-in-one yellow plastic suit ala the beastie boys last year...

i expect my annual paranoid glastonbury dreams to start anytime now.

you aren't allowed to say that you're better!

2005-05-26T23:12:06Z

CRIBS
TOMORROW!

mirror kissers video

i turn into a teenybopper for the cribs. i love it! it's the best feeling ever! i fucking love them so much! *SCREAMS*

CRIBMANIA!